God, Why Am I Still Here: Does It Really Matter

As us four brothers were growing up, I felt there was something different about us that just wasn't in conformity to other youngsters in our area. This affected our lifestyle, our schooling process, and of course, our lonely secluded family life. We all want to grow up in a lovable happy home together, like other kids in our neighborhood. Just because we didn't have the nice clothes, a big beautiful fancy house, new car, I didn't feel equal or the same as others. We had to make the best of what we had on our rural farm, then get uprooted, and moved from one home to another that I began to feel abnormal or different. Why did I feel this way, why am I here, and what was I supposed to do with my life?

I grew up not knowing what my real purpose in life was to be. My horrible dealings with alcohol led me into depression, suicidal tendencies, and never-ending sins of the world. I was hurt from no parental love and felt lonely and abandoned, abused, and filled with guilt, hate, and anger at myself and many others. It never left or went away. I seemed like a no-win case, but it all changed when I went to my second rehab to get sober where I met a different person who changed the course of my life.

It was here that I was introduced to the Lord and Savior of the world, Jesus. It was he who kept me from further killing myself with alcohol and the devious works of Satan. My life has changed drastically and was led to an awesome God who truly loves me. It was soon after all this I met the first true love of my life. Without her, I would not have made it at all.

It's through the daily reading of God's Word and prayer that keeps me from backsliding down the wrong path again.

I'm also hoping that through this book, that if just one person who is suffering from the same problems gets just one helpful thing from it, then this book was intended to be written and worth it. Amen


--Cletus Cottrell