I Am Not Her!: My Past Doesn't Define Me

How do you acknowledge something that you don't give a face to? You can't recognize it if you're

constantly acting as if whatever hurt you've been subjected to doesn't exist. Generational curses are being

passed down because people are taught not to speak on the "uncomfortable hurt." Many people come

from families/communities that sweep everything under the rug like the issue never happened. How do

you move on with life if your mind is in bondage due to your unaddressed issues? The moment you

acknowledge abuse, molestation, depression, suicidal thoughts, addiction, or abandonment (whatever has

given you pain) is the moment you give that thing a face. That's when healing takes place. That's when that

thing is real and your identity is no longer associated with your past. That thing is no longer leeching off

your existence. You can look in the mirror and actually see a person, versus whatever you've labeled

yourself or whatever people have labeled you. You can finally talk about the situation and no longer be

embarrassed/ashamed of it. Exposure brings about healing. Healing is the key to accomplishing life and

giving it our all. That's all God wants from us. Think of life like a buried diamond. How can God use you,

or how can you live life to your fullest potential if you are buried in dirt? The diamond is there. However,

the different layers of earth are keeping the diamond in bondage. Therefore, there's no use for it at that

point. It is simply being prepared to shine bright.

I listen to classical music because it triggers the inner child within myself. It brings back bananas

covered in peanut butter and the sticker apples that were put on the plastic tree if you behaved (the apple

was removed for bad behavior). Mozart would play through the room as we napped on our mats. It

brought back the smell of cinnamon that used to cover my father's studio office. Thinking of these good

moments will not take away the hurt that wasn't addressed. Get to the bottom of it so that you can glow

and live life to the fullest! You deserve nothing but the best, so go for it.


--Darion Hughes

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